(or: how to avoid being ruled by the wrong people)
Power attracts the wrong people.
People who seek control, visibility, dominance. Not always, but often enough that it causes harm.
The people we do trust are busy doing other things: caring, teaching, building, listening. They don’t want to rule, so they don’t.
Most systems meant to fix this just create a new kind of throne. A new game for the same kind of player.
So instead, here’s an idea:
Don’t build up. Build out. Quietly.
No leaders. No signup. Just a set of gentle practices. If you follow them, you’re already helping it grow. If you stop, you’re not. You don’t have to tell anyone about it. But you can, quietly.
1. Be kind where you are.
In your home, your street, your work. Even when no one’s watching.
2. Act without ego.
Help without claiming credit. Praise others. Shrink a little when it’s easy to grow.
3. Share quietly.
If someone might understand this idea, you can tell them about it. No pressure.
4. Don’t build up. Build out.
Avoid central hubs. Avoid hierarchy. Think rhizomes, not pyramids.
5. Ignore power. Protect people. Don’t chase control. But do step in when someone’s being harmed by it.
6. Don’t name it too much.
This isn’t a brand. It’s a pattern. Let it stay pattern-shaped.
7. Notice the Towers.
When power clusters—around money, charisma, looks, skill, or hierarchy, pause a little. Ask: Is this necessary? Is it accountable?
8. Hold, don’t grab.
If power flows to you, hold it lightly. Share it. Pass it along. Stay aware of what it’s doing to you.
9. Remember you can revoke.
Most large power only works because enough people go along with it. When things go wrong, you can withdraw. Even a pause is a kind of resistance.
10. Call out wounded egos. Many people act badly to protect themselves: they diminish others, dominate discussions, claim hero roles, vanish when work gets hard and unglamorous, second-guess initiatives, or spin events to shift blame. Notice it, and when necessary, call out the behavior calmly and factually in front of those affected — not to shame, but to protect the innocent, including yourself.
You can do all this while living a full life. Raising kids. Working. Sitting on a bench. It takes no time. Makes no demands. But if enough people do it, it might start to show up. Like frost. Like moss. Like lichen on stone.
You have everything you need to start.